Sunday, March 13, 2011


Neutral Alignment Human Fighter Stefan von Greiffenklau (aka The Griffonclaw) is a puffy-sleeved Landsknecht character based on the historical Germanic mercenaries around the time of the Thirty Years War.

(image from

A brash and daring warrior, Griffonclaw is out for one thing in this adventuring life... glory!

Griffonclaw doesn't care if it's an evil priest, a demon summoning wizard or a mighty dragon, if the price is right, he'll do your mission. Once he's done with the smiting, he's back to the tavern for Bier and Weisswurst as soon as he's paid. He has a trusty sidekick, Chaotic Neutral Alignment Gnome Heavy Metal Specialist Bard, who goes by the name of Retro.

Griffonclaw pays Retro a handsome sum in gold and silver to accompany his every movement with his heavy metal signature ballad titled, imaginatively, The Ballad of The Griffonclaw. You'll have to use your imagination a bit to fill in the double-kick drum solos and whammy bar screeches, but the lyrics basically go like this:

The Ballad of The Griffonclaw

His sleeves are so puffy and his jacket is slashed
You can hire his greatness,
If you have the cash

Blade covered in gore,
C’mon give us some more

He wears a mighty big moustache and a big feathered hat
He swings his mighty Zweihander and knocks his enemies flat


When he comes to your tavern all the bar wenches smile,
They know when he gets there that the night will get wild,

Chorus (x2)

Griffonclaw! (x5)

Nice, huh? Thinking of cracking out the twenty-sided dice and revamping that old pen and paper campaign right now aren't you?

Maybe this is the Tavern where Retro plays his gigs. The Greifen Tavern!

Or perhaps it occurred to you that there is something very messed up going on inside my head for dreaming up this geeky kind of bollocks. If that is the case, check this guy out instead.

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